For those who know me personally you've seen first hand that I've been stricken with presbyopia. It's a horrible horrible condition which I wouldn't wish on anyone; and yet most of you reading this either already have it or will as some point in your life.
Presbyopia is the technical name for age-related long-sightedness. Basically, it means you've lived long enough to adorn yourself with the most noticeable age-related accessory - reading glasses! These are the same glasses that would hang off the nose of your 2nd grade teacher as she scanned across room. Was it just me or was it hard to tell if she was pleased or upset with that head tilted down, eyebrows raised and eyes glaring over those unattractive thin glasses?
When the first symptoms of presbyopia appear we all deny them and are confident things will improve or our arm will be long enough to keep all in focus. Time will prove neither to be true. Eventually, we all see the blurred writing on the wall and will casually stroll by the rotating rack of reading glasses doing our best to seem uninterested. We'll stop and try on some until we find one that reminds of us how sight use to be. Then we look into the mirror to the unsightly vision of that second grade school teacher glaring back at us. We quickly take them off and walk away believing we can go another week or perhaps even a month before it gets too bad; all the while knowing it was too bad months ago.
Finally, we get our first pair, or if you're a Costco shopper, your first three pack. You need three or more because advanced age has also brought with it forgetfulness. So you'll need a pair at home, work and in your car. You don't dare buy and expensive pair which may actually look good, well as good as these can look, because you are absolutely sure you'll lose them. I believe I've lost the equivalent of the gross national product of a small third-world country in Costco three pack reading glasses.
I've been told by many that lasers or a single contact can fix this condition. Sounds promising until you hear from just as many with tells of someone they know who tried these and they did nothing to roll back the hands of seeing time. So having accepted my fate I kept buying more and more of the three packs. I've become something equivalent to a visually-challenged crack addict; I can't live without these glasses!
Well, I finally had enough. I hit rock bottom and sought professional help to avoid the embarrassment of a surprise intervention. So, off I went to, where else, the Costco Optometry Center.
Within a half hour I was fitted with one contact lens and was reading small print from a magazine article on fertility treatments. I was elated, ecstatic, euphoric...to see without glasses that is...not about the fertility treatment possibilities. I can now read just about anything without glasses!
Ahoy, so, if ye be an agin' pirate like me, do yerself a fa'or and see yer optometrist.
